Every stage of children has different characteristics, just like my daughter, before junior high school. She was like an angel, but after the second grade, the "devil" came out. She has some behavior and speaking ways, not as lovely as before.
Many parents may fret about this.
Why is that?
0 to 7 years old this stage, called the parasitic stage.
It means that when a person comes into the world, he or she can't live on his or her own, and he or she is parasitic to his or her parents, so at this stage the child has no self at all 39bet-xsmb-xổ số tây ninh-xổ số binh phước-xổ số binh dương-xổ số đồng nai.
Whatever his parents say, he will obediently assume that they are right, because they are all he has.
7 to 12 years of age, dependent period
It was supposed to be 7-14 years old, but nowadays kids tend to be early.
At this stage, the child begins to develop himself and has a little independent opinion, but he still cannot live independently, so there will be dependence on his parents.
On the one hand, he will depend on his parents and obey them, but on the other hand, he begins to have his own independent personality and opinions.
14 to 21 years old, rebellious period
From my observation, it should be between the ages of 12 and 21, and one of the characteristics of children at this stage is "rebellion".
This is from our parent's point of view. From the child's point of view, he doesn't think he's being rebellious, he's just showing that he's grown up:
I am already an independent person, I have my personality, I have my choice.
Therefore, parents should adapt to the characteristics of this stage.
I often hear parents ask me this: My child is rebellious, I tell him to go east, he goes west, really tired.
I say to parents like this: That's not easy, you want him to go east, you tell him to go west, he will go east?
It's a joke, of course, but it's a joke that contains a very important piece of wisdom.
I once shared the story of a master:
In the United States there is a psychologist named Milton. He is a hypnotic master. He grew up on the farm. One day, his father was in the drag of a cow. The cow has a bull temper, how can he not pull away? Dad called Milton to help.
But Milton did not, according to his father said to do, he did not go to pull the rope, but ran to the back of the cow to pull the tail. The cow was Milton a pull tail, with Milton, so it naturally walked forward.
We have to master this characteristic for the adolescent: go with the flow, don't go against him.
If you antagonize an adolescent, you will definitely break your heart, because he does not mean to make things difficult with you, he is just to show: I have a personality, have a stand, if I listen to you everything, I will lose face.
So go with the flow, make him a success, let him reveal himself, highlight his personality, respect his choices.
Of course, under the premise of not violating laws and regulations.
When a child can be respected, there is no need for him to deliberately rebel against you.
If a child is hostile to you, it only shows that you have not respected his choices in the past with your child, especially after puberty, so he needs to show his importance, that's all.
Rome wasn't built in a day. Today, if your child shows a lot of rebellion or a lot of deviant behavior, you don't ask what way to deal with it, I can only tell you a rule.
A person to grow up needs to supplement a variety of nutrients, such as vitamins, protein, sugar, starch and so on.
People want to grow up in addition to the need to obtain material nutrition. In fact, people's personality spirit also wants to grow up, psychological growth, which needs a kind of nutrition, called psychological nutrition.
Psychological nutrition is also a person's spiritual food. That is to say, the child needs to be recognized, affirmed, praised, appreciated and encouraged.
If a child can get his parents' continuous recognition, encouragement, love, acceptance, his psychological nutrition is sufficient, his psychological development will be healthy.
But if a child is in the process of growth, parents do not give the child psychological nutrition, always criticize, constantly deny him, the child's spirit is hungry.
As with physical hunger, all his attention was on finding food.
The psychologically hungry child will also look for "food" and will focus on how I get attention. In fact, scolding is also a way to get attention.
If parents can pay attention to him, it will supplement his psychological nutrition.
Recall, the first one is called following the trend; second, if your child has a variety of problems, as long as you find a direction, it must be his psychological nutrition is not enough, to supplement the psychological nutrition.
Give him back the recognition, approval, appreciation, encouragement, praise, praise, acceptance, love, companionship, etc., that you owe him.
Your affirmation, your praise, your praise, is related to the formation of a child's self-worth, that is to say, the formation of his life script, how he identifies himself, what kind of person he thinks he is, all by your psychological nutrition.
If this is done, your child will have nothing to worry about in the future. He will surely become an accomplished and happy person.
The third thing that I want to share with you is dealing with the second of the two things that I talked about, which is the way children think.
How can we raise an open-minded child?
Try not to give the child one answer.
When your child is interacting with you, because teenagers must have a lot of personality, when he asks you any question, try not to answer him, but to ask him what he thinks, he must have his answer.
When the child has an answer, even if the answer is wrong, don't deny him, but give him a yes, and then ask: What else? If he has two answers, ask a third question: What else?
If he says no, don't let him go. Then ask the fourth question: If there is any, what is it?
Your child's brain opens up when you ask him or her in these four sentences, which are called potential development questions in psychology.
These four sentences are enough to open a child's mind, so try not to give a child an answer, because even if your answer is right, there is only one answer in his life, and this answer will limit his life.
If you want a child to have a bigger and broader world in the future, the blue is better than the blue, must not force what you think is right to him to accept, but to respect his ideas, broaden his thinking, he will become a continuous innovation.
If you have a good script, an open mind dimension, what are you worried about?
Temporary underachievement should not affect your child's future.
If the grades are good enough, but his thinking is narrow, self-worth is low, such a child will be miserable in the future.